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| courtesy of bloom (in)courage |
This quote arrived just when I needed it the most. Recently, I have been struggling with an issue I thought I had resolved almost two years ago--that of my purpose. What is it exactly that God has placed me on this earth to do that only I can do? Almost five years ago he began showing me my purpose. I made excuses for why I could not live out that purpose for close to three years. Then about a year and a half ago I embraced his purpose for my life---to be a stay at home mom to my children. To be here for them physically, emotionally, and in all the ways that I could not fully be here for them when I was working full-time. I knew that when I made the decision to walk away from work it was the right decision for our family. From time to time I would ask whether I had done the right thing, questioning the decision, questioning God and his great wisdom. And ultimately I would always be led back to yes this is where I want you at this time and this is what I want you to accomplish for me at this time. So when the questions came this time I figured it was only more of the same and I would soon find peace in my decision as I had in the past. However it began again and only seemed to grow in intensity following a visit home and being asked what I was doing now. As I happily responded that I'm at home with the children, the response was a stunned "oh, you're not in school, did you get your masters, I thought you were in school." And then this week at church, I am asked again about working full time and again I happily reply "no." Then the next question, "are you planning to return soon?" I then glanced down at the sleeping 9-month old in my arms and answered, "no." I stated that perhaps I will once the girls are older. The reply then came, but you know that you will be older and it will be more difficult to go back, there will be younger folks out there, etc. I must admit that once I left church I was truly wondering whether I am doing the right thing by staying home with my children. I may be wrong here but I didn't feel that those in whom I was speaking with thought very highly of the choice of staying at home and not being out there working whether for money or for a sense of accomplishment or success.
So last night I poured out my heart to the Lord regarding what I was feeling and asked him to please once again show me what my purpose is and being the faithful, lover of my soul that He is, he did before I fell asleep last night. He spoke to me during our nightly devotion. Last night's devotion was on this very issue that I had been struggling with so intensely and reiterated what God had told me many times previously---that "staying home with my children is an investment in our most valuable resources." (Quote from the book Moments Together by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)
Raising them is more important than any other job I could ever do, despite what others may think.

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